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Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada, LLP
Menlo Park
San Ramon

Bay Area Family Law Blog

Make sure a move is right for your kids after a divorce

You love the idea of moving to the city, but you know that your divorce might hold you back. Presently, you and your spouse have lived in a neighborhood far from the city, in a highly rural area. You don't love how long it takes to drive your kids to school or that they have no friends nearby. Your family is also a half-hour or more away, when they'd be just around the corner if you moved.

Moving is a big deal after divorce, though, because it would directly affect your children and custody plan. Your spouse wants them to continue to go to the school they currently attend, but you want them to enjoy better schools in the Bay Area. You think that they would thrive being closer to your family and having friends nearby in the neighborhood.

What can you do to make divorce easier for your kids?

A divorce isn't easy on anyone, let alone children who may not understand what's happening. That's why it's important for you and your co-parent to work together to build up your children's confidence and to help them understand that you are both still there to support them in their lives.

After a divorce, many parents still feel at odds with one another. One of the best things you can do is to work out a way to co-parent without the conflicts you had during your marriage. Why?

Don't risk it all: Get professional support for your divorce

You and your spouse both make good money. Together, you easily pull in six figures. Now, you know that you're going to be going through divorce, and the lifestyle you've become accustomed to could end.

For the longest time, you've been the supportive partner. Your job paid less, but your money could go into the stock market and retirement accounts. Yours was used to pay off debt and to build up assets. On the other hand, your spouse's money was just saved and put aside. They spent it on what they wanted. Yes, your spouse covered your mortgage and utilities, but everything else was on your shoulders.

Focusing on your own emotions may help your child during divorce

Like most California parents, from the moment your child was born, you likely knew that you would do anything for him or her, especially when it came to protecting your child's well-being. You may have experienced instances where you had to protect your child from the various household dangers and other physical hazards that could affect a small child, but when it came to protecting him or her emotionally, you have had a more difficult time.

Though you would love for your child to never experience any type of emotional pain, it happens to everyone. Now, you wonder how your children will fare as you and the other parent go through a difficult custody battle.

Your child's aggression requires good parenting techniques

There are many parenting challenges that people face in today's world, and they may be even more complex when you add a divorce to the mix. You're learning to be a single parent, and that is hard. Even though your ex-spouse is also parenting your children, there are bound to be times when you run into issues.

Something that many parents deal with during and following a divorce is a child's aggression. You need to remember that children may not be sure how to handle the emotions they're feeling. This is new territory for them. Your ex-spouse may have their way of dealing with your child's negative behaviors, and you may have your own.

Why should you work with a forensic accountant?

When you get a divorce, it can be hard to know how to divide your property. It can be even more difficult if there is property that you don't know exists. Some kinds of property, like digital assets, can be harder to identify. For example, your spouse may have been investing in Bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies that you're not aware of.

Part of the divorce process is working out where all your assets are. You and your spouse will be expected to report your assets. You need to disclose everything you possess (within reason, of course). To do this, you may want to work with a forensic accountant, especially if you have many assets online that you may have forgotten about.

Alice A. Purdy, Linda M. Anderson and Carlo L. Miranda pass the 2019 California Family Law Legal Specialist Exam

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP congratulates our associates

Alice A. Purdy, Linda M. Anderson and Carlo L. Miranda

for passing the 2019 California Family Law Legal Specialist Exam!

California attorneys who are certified as specialists have taken and passed a written examination in their specialty field, demonstrated a high level of experience in the specialty field, fulfilled ongoing education requirements and been favorably evaluated by other attorneys and judges familiar with their work. Only attorneys who meet all of the above criteria can identify themselves as Certified Specialists in California.

How can you talk about divorce with your child?

You and your spouse didn't think you'd split up, but after a short separation period, you both found that your lives were much easier without each other. You feel mostly amicable about the situation, and you're happy to move on and to have them do the same.

One thing you both think will be difficult is telling your child about what's going to happen next. How can you tell an elementary school-aged child that you're planning to uproot them and change their entire life? Even if you and your spouse can get along, your child is sure to be surprised, confused and hurt.

Coparenting? Don't let issues destroy the relationship

When you and your ex-spouse divorced, you thought that you'd be good at co-parenting. You didn't talk a lot at the end of your marriage, so you didn't fight or argue.

The problem is that you're now starting to see some of that behavior happen. You are both struggling to communicate, and it's beginning to affect your children. Is this really normal for people in your situation? What can you do?

Has a toxic marriage led you to divorce?

Meeting someone and feeling an instant connection can be exhilarating. When you first met your spouse, you may have felt giddy with excitement at seeing him or her and talking, and you eventually began to see yourself living the rest of your life with this person. You could not have been more excited when the time came to tie the knot.

Unfortunately, like many marriages that start out this way, your relationship later began to go downhill. It may not have seemed obvious at first, but over time, you came to realize that you were in a toxic relationship.