5 Ways To Make Divorce Easier On The Kids

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada, LLP

Nearly all parents want what's best for their kids. In a bitterly contested divorce, however, it can be easy for parents to lose sight of their children's best interests. All too often, they get caught up in the acrimony and stress and forget to put their kids first.

At the Bay Area law firm of Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP, we want to promote a better way. Over the past 40 years of representing clients in complex family law cases, our attorneys have the skill to guide clients through the process without promoting undue animosity. We also place an emphasis on protecting the children's best interests at every step.

Here are a few tips for making the entire transition easier on the kids:

1. Present a united front. Yes, it may feel impossible to be in the same room with your spouse without arguing, but if you can sit down together with the children while you explain you're getting divorced, it can help reduce your children's anxiety. They will see that this is something that both their parents have agreed on together — not one parent "betraying" the other without his or her knowledge.

2. Explain that it's not their fault. Many children tend to assume that they are in some way responsible for their parents' divorce. Make sure to reinforce the message that your kids did nothing wrong.

3. Don't talk negatively about the other parent. If you need to vent about his or her behavior or poor character qualities, do so to a trusted friend or counselor, not to the kids. The odds are that they love both of you, and hearing you berate someone they care about can be very painful for them.

4. Don't make your kids the messengers. It's detrimental to make children the go-betweens, asking them to carry messages, transfer child support checks or otherwise act as a buffer between you and the other parent.

5. Encourage them to share their feelings. Divorce can be emotionally challenging for everyone involved, especially the children. They may feel angry about losing time with one parent, afraid of having to move to a different city, worried about whether both parents still love them, and more. Let them express these emotions, even if that includes sharing that they love their other parent.

To request guidance and advocacy throughout child custody proceedings in California, contact the lawyers of Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP in Menlo Park and San Ramon.